雨天

每当活得疲惫时，快要崩溃的那瞬间，天总会在那时下起雨来，似乎是替我流了无人知晓的泪。心情总会跟着雨一样越下越大，心情越来越糟。无声无影地发泄后，心情理所当然的好了起来，如同雨后天晴，有时甚至还会出现彩虹呢。巧合？这不是一次两次的事而是好几年的事。当生活上的压力减轻时，渐渐的这些事情也淡出了脑里。近期的滔滔大雨隐隐约约的勾起了这些回忆，使它没了亲切感反而还感到一丝丝的不安，似乎被它埋怨，成了忘恩负义的人，忘了感恩它先前给予的力量，安慰。‘不可忘记他的恩典’。雨天成了鞭子，提醒了我那位在哭无泪喊无声的日子里给予我无尽的生命力的存在。

zbW, 《私房稿》

“每次花谢，都像为下一次花开；而每一次花开，似乎都准备着下一次花谢。心甘情愿周而复始毫无怨言。”--吴悠律，《门前那片不弃不离的绿》

人何尝也不该这样？虽然会很累，可是至少有个目标，不让生命瞬间变得毫无价值。跌倒了就爬起来。谁怕谁。大不了受些伤。伤是会好的，会复合的。反省，吸取教训，再次爬起来，站稳，踏出右脚，再踏出左脚，走路，再次的蹦向目标。所谓经一事，长一智嘛，才会有‘姜是老的辣’这个言语嘛。“就算失望，不能绝望”，五月天《倔强》。绝望可是会致命的，完全没有了希望，就没有推动力，没有目标。若这目标是人生目标的话或是间接影响到人生目标时，那就真的糟了，负面的思想一个接一个的把自己给埋没了，自杀就不会是件惊天动人的事了。当一个打不死的蟑螂好过当一个温室里的小花小草。人见人厌好过人见人怜但生命力脆弱。（当然是在必不得以的时候。也不是做违背良心的事。最好是烦死或气死那些故意跑来你面前的绊脚石。呵呵，我够可恶吧？）倔强未必是一件坏事。

Self

"To thine own self be true"
--Hamlet


Better to have a full understanding of yourself than to have others fully understand you.(知己知彼，百战百胜）And also using what I had heard from others a few years back, humans are like porcupines, they tend to want others to fully understand them but the more they try to get close to each other, the more they prick each other, getting hurt in the process. One of my friends interpreted it as as humans usually thought that others understand them well, they thought that they could say whatever they think without considering others' feelings, forgetting that others also have emotions and their own emotional scars too,there's a limit to what one can say.

Maybe that is also one of the reasons why people tend to ask for favours with those they know, believing that they have the ability to do so, and believed that they would not reject them, always saying stuff alone these lines 'I know that you are a very good person...', '以我们那么多年的交情...’. However, they forgot to consider their 'friends' position in the matter, whether they are putting them in an awakward position, 让他们进退两难。I have seen so many such cases that I have lost count and I'm just only 20 years old, no, have not even reach the age of 20. Does it hurt so much to consider others' position and determine whether their 'favours' are reasonable or not? Does it hurt to pause and think before one speaks, curbing their own desire to reach their goal and think rationally first? Going back to the first line, usually if one understand how one's emotions and thoughts work, one would be able to stop oneself from making such moves. Secondly, negatively, extremely negatively, in the world that I know, there can be betrayal and backstabbing when one least expected it. So it is 'wise'--I know that many would disagree strongly with me, to not leak out too much about oneself, as one may not know when it would be used against one. However, of cause, this is an extreme measure and it would cause one to become a loner. Maybe this is one of the reasons for one to become anti-social.


Usually the more one seems to be strong, the stronger the impact of the fall one feels. When they 'fall' or, using the more commonly uttered phrase, 'hit the bottom/pit', they not only hit the ground hard but they also usually tend to 'bite the dirt'. It maybe that they are as sensitive as others but they held back causing them to 'collect' the hurt feelings, piling them up. So when they finally collapse, the emotion is being magnified a few times. It may also be as they themselves are more sensitive than others, they put up a shield to block it off, and in some rare cases, I guess, they are so successful that they appear to be even stronger than others. Hence, when those things which hurt them are able to make their way through the shield, it hit them really hard. Just remember that no matter how one seems to be strong and 'steely', they are humans, living things, who bleed like the rest and have emotions.