City people: Sufferings

Just to add on to the previous post, today, as per normal, I read my favourite section of the Sunday edition of the Chinese newspaper, zbW's《私房稿》by 吴悠律,besides the comics which are satire in nature and reflects our society. Oh yeah, only now I realised that this chinese name also sounds like no worries which is reflective of his bulletin. He comments on the city people, their lifestyle, thoughts and their attitudes and behaviour. This issue is on how city people magnifies their hardships and minimise their happiness, especially when conversing with each other.

With regards to the telling of hardships part, the author said that "遇上某些无法避免的伤痛，不必假装他们不存在或伤害小，但也不必过分放大或扭曲；坦然接受他们成为自己一体，脚步当然不可能因此就健步如飞，但应该不会再有先前的仓皇”，which I totally agree with the author. What the author is saying is that when you stumble upon unavoidable sufferings, there is no need to deny their existance nor minimise them nor even magnify them nor distort them; accept them as part of who you are (as it moulds your identity , like it or not) even though by doing this you would not be able to carry on life at a faster pace but you would not have hesitations nor uncertainty like before.

(Sorry if I don't make sense. I tried my best but sometimes, I just could not translate properly. Now, I'm thinking of whether to translate the previous blog but I don't know if there are chinese reading this blog, if there are any other readers besides those who have commented before.)

The thing is that what Thomas Szasz said in his book, The Second Sin (1973) "Personal Conduct", "the stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget." By forgiving, you would be able to have a better time in life as " a cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones", Proverbs 17:22, and in scientific view, you use up a lot of muscle when you frown as compared to smiling. So what for you increase your burden, making yourself worn out and, in the long run, causing one's mental state to worsen when you are able to reduce it? However, to not to make the same mistake again, one should remember the incident as a reminder of the lesson learnt to allow one to make a better and wiser choice.

Ture, it is always easier to preach than to carry out the preaches. However, if one makes a conscious effort, one would be able to do it with much practice, even I needed a long period of time to come out of the dark whirpool of negative emotions,which are a lot more intense than those reflected in my poems posted, even though I had, in a way, forgave those people and Fate. These which are what the author also said, "蹲太久的膝盖有站立的挣扎，习惯黑暗包围的眼睛有阳光刺痛的隐忧，被痛苦没顶的心灵有逃避快乐的危险”, which basically means when one had been suffering for long, one would not be able to come out of one's suffering as one would tend to block out the positive side of life.

Finally, like what the author said, when one complains about how life's harsh, encourage each other by replying that tomorrrow would be a better day, which may cause one to laugh but it is still better for one to laugh instead of frowning, 把悲愤化为正面的力量。如同我曾经在一篇散文里写的：“翅膀是要找你的，不是别人给的。。。处在繁忙、充满虚幻的社会的你感到疲惫时，不乏停下脚步，找一找你的翅膀。”是的，与其被社会甚至世界牵着鼻子走，把自己弄得眼花缭乱，昏头昏脑的犹如无头苍蝇，倒不如找个宁静的地方，静坐思考，认清方向后，再重新出发也不迟。一个人的生命中难免会遇见不如意的事，甚至会有种被推下十八层地狱的感觉，但是事情的好坏是在于个人的心态，把心态调整过来，事情大多数没有你想象的遭。生活上的考验是为了让你更加的坚强，更加的能珍惜眼前的事物。

Exams over finally!

Yappy, A levels are over!!!!Sorry, I just felt like letting it loose. Haha, it does not sound like the 冰月 in this blog. K. Now switch. Back to the more familiar 冰月。

Things happen for reasons and sometimes, the reasons only dawn on us after a period of time. Maybe not dawn but some other words like, realise or the effect of the 'things' felt. It happened to me a few times and quite recently,during this period of time where it happened consequtively. Back then, I was so super stressed and stretched almost to a breaking point that when I saw a channel to relate it to one of them as I happened to interact and thus opened up with the person. I ended up blurting out everything, including the past which best left buried, except for the names of the parties involved. I was quite worried that I had let out too much and said something that I would seriously regret due to obligations, hurting others unintentionally. Recently, the others, including the person realised who those parties were and there are some changes in some of those people's attitudes, in all aspect, showing signs of changing into a better person, including becoming stronger. Only, now then I realised that I had not fufilled my agreement to 'walk in the light', not caring about the dark corners in the light nor being burnt, if it is possible in the light, and had only, truely done that in that very moment which I was so worried about. The hardships and obstacles in life were not just to mould one into a better person but to also spur others on and become a candle in the dark, touching other's lives.

PS: Even as I was typing this entry and after publishing it, I deliberated many times between the choice of delecting it or posting it.